Remember that part of Pretty Woman when Vivian is lying in Edwards’ arms, full of post-coital bliss?
Vivian: People put you down enough, you start to believe it.
Edward: I think you are a very bright, very special woman.
Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe.
I can write the hell out of something, I know it.
But there’s always someone, somewhere willing to tear you down.
Like an editor or a boyfriend, who thinks you might be just a little bit too high on yourself.
And the only way they can think to put you in check is to belittle you.
They’ll tell you it’s to “keep you grounded.”
Instead, the bad stuff is easier to believe.
You hear it enough, it becomes a part of you. You question yourself at every turn, meanwhile struggle to maintain that shell that keeps people from knowing you’re rattled.
It isn’t easy to shake. It can live with you for years, decades even.
No matter how tough and talented you might be, you might always hear that editor or that boyfriend in the back of your head, telling you, “You aren’t as good as you think you are.”
And it keeps you … me … from trying anything new.
From taking a chance on myself.
Because maybe I’m not as good as I think am.