Dear Angela, you suck

Remember that part of Pretty Woman when Vivian is lying in Edwards’ arms, full of post-coital bliss?

Vivian: People put you down enough, you start to believe it.
Edward: I think you are a very bright, very special woman.
Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe.

I can write the hell out of something, I know it.

But there’s always someone, somewhere willing to tear you down.

Like an editor or a boyfriend, who thinks you might be just a little bit too high on yourself.

And the only way they can think to put you in check is to belittle you.

Demean you.

They’ll tell you it’s to “keep you grounded.”

Instead, the bad stuff is easier to believe.

You hear it enough, it becomes a part of you. You question yourself at every turn, meanwhile struggle to maintain that shell that keeps people from knowing you’re rattled.

It isn’t easy to shake. It can live with you for years, decades even.

No matter how tough and talented you might be, you might always hear that editor or that boyfriend in the back of your head, telling you, “You aren’t as good as you think you are.”

And it keeps you … me … from trying anything new.

From taking a chance on myself.

Because maybe I’m not as good as I think am.

4 comments

  1. You’re better than you think you are.
    I know this as a fact.
    From that friend with whom you watched Pretty Woman countless times Ina tiny TV in a green room on St. Ninian.

  2. Girl please. You are incredible. And, yes, bad shit is easier to believe, but I will tell you until my last breath that I want to be you when I grow up. Which can’t happen, because you, my love, are too special and unique to ever be re-created. Does Chip realize whom he gets to spend life with? Lucky isn’t even the word.

  3. Hang in there kid because you’re doing just fine. Love your images and still remember one you shot a few years ago out in Water Valley country of a lone boot in an old abandoned cabin. You’re good so whatever is holding you back – screw it.

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